Emotional Abuse/Manipulation

• Causing the victim to feel bad about themselves
• Giving the silent treatment
• Placing the blame for any arguments/abuse on the victim

Jealousy/Isolation

• Using jealousy as a sign of love
• Controlling what the victim does, where they go, whom they talk to, etc.
• Disapproval of involvement in other activities, dropping by to “watch” these activities

Abuse Of Male Privilege

• The man makes all the decisions
• The man is allowed to hang out with “the boys”, but the woman is not allowed to spend time with her friends
• The man is allowed to have female friends, but the woman is not allowed to have male friends
• The man expects the woman to drop all plans whenever he calls or stops over unexpectedly.

Verbal Abuse

• Name-calling
• Criticizing
• Publicly humiliating
• Put downs

Destruction Of Personal Property

• Destroying personal belongings
• Destroying a gift only to give a better gift the next day
• Defacing the victim’s car

Sexual Abuse

• Treating the victim like a sex-object
• Unwanted or uncomfortable touching
• Strong pressure to be physical and lashing out at the victim if they refuse

Chemical Dependency

• Controlling distribution of prescribed medication to the victim
• Supplying and/or withholding drugs or alcohol

Threats/Intimidation

• Looks, actions, expressions or, raising the voice to intimidate the victim
• Smashing or throwing objects to frighten the victim

Physical Abuse

• Any attempt to physically hurt or scare the victim
• Hitting, biting, hair-pulling, grabbing, pushing, tripping, kicking, pinching, or pinning the victim

Minimizing/Denying/Blaming

• Making light of the abuse
• Shifting the responsibility for abusive behavior

Remember: there is no excuse for abuse! No matter what he or she may say—abuse is NEVER your fault! Dating violence is about CONTROL!