I’ve been asked by men, “What does your dating violence program have to do with me?” My response is always the same: “Guys, you may have a younger sister, cousin, or female friend who will be a victim of abuse. You may know someone who is a perpetrator of violence or you may even be a victim yourself.”
If you witnessed any kind of abuse, including threats and destruction of personal property or physical and emotional abuse, you have a RESPONSIBILITY to intervene.
Catch him at a time when he’s not angry and urge him to seek help.
• Contact the State Coalition Office nearest you: www.ncadv.org/resources/state.htm. Your State Coalition Office will be able to direct you to a crisis center in your county.
• From there, contact the crisis center and ask about their Batterer’s Intervention Program. Your friend needs to be taught that there is no excuse for any abusive behavior.
Don’t forget to talk to the girl in the situation. Be her friend and tell her what you observed and why your friend is wrong to treat her that way he does.
• Do NOT try to guilt her into seeking help, instead convince her to contact a local crisis center or have her call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Use this website as a resource and give her the web address so she can check out this information herself.
First of all, don’t cheat yourself. Report the abuse and make an appointment to speak with a trained professional.
• NEVER retaliate with physical violence. Leave the situation and contact the police and report it. Also, if you’re injured, seek medical attention.
• Do not be embarrassed or deny what is happening because it DOES happen to other men. Remember that ANYONE can be verbally abused, stalked, threatened, or physically abuse.
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
• Contact the State Coalition Office nearest you: www.ncadv.org/resources/state.htm. Your State Coalition Office will direct you to a crisis center close to you.